The reply he got from Claire was not what he was expecting, mainly because he hadn't realised he had said that out loud to begin with. Caleb just looked at her for a moment, not sure whether he was meant to act on it, whether he was meant to take that initiative, and yet he found himself tentatively, carefully taking a step towards her, thankfully she wasn't standing that far away from him.
Everything seemed to come down to this moment, if he followed through with what she said, if he kissed her like he so desperately wanted to he didn't think he would stop. He felt like he was back on that gym Claire hovering over him, daring him to kiss her after a year or more of friendship, not knowing what the outcome would be. He remembered the fear that had coursed through him back then, the worry that he was going to loose his best friend in the whole world and now he was back to that moment.
Terrified of what was to come next, as he ignored the stinging in his side, he leant forward and captured her mouth in the deepest kiss he could, almost as though he was a drowning man and the kiss would give him the air that he needed. The fear receded leaving only a faint pleasant hum at the back of his mind, as his arm - the on that wasn't still clinging onto the IV pole tightly - came up to hold her arm.
It was everything he wanted it to be and more so, it felt normal, the fear disappearing the longer he kissed her, as though every moment that morning was leading up to this very second. To this very kiss, it felt as though it was his first kiss with her all over again. Finally though he had to pull away, air was going to become a problem soon if he didn't and taking a deep breath was not exactly pain free for him at the moment.
He was almost shaking as he stood there, holding onto Claire as he rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed for a moment as a soft recognisable smile crossed his face, well she had told him to kiss her and well he always accepted challenges.
"So I kissed you," he whispered quietly to her, as though she wouldn't have gotten the memo.
Pulling himself away from her, he found that he had to take a seat once again, his energy seemed to be waning quickly for him, but he was determined to get everything over and done with, then maybe he could rest. Once he'd eaten, the promise of food seemed to give him something to aim for, although once he had eaten he wasn't sure how much longer after that he would be awake.
Caleb hated that his body seemed to be as weak as it was, that it didn't seem to want to do more than take a few steps here and there, hated that he felt so damn shaky after the kiss, after the adrenalin rush that it brought to kiss her. Damn he had wanted to kiss her so badly and now it seemed he had caused himself a little more damage than he had intended.
He smiled almost tiredly at Claire, as she said about being in bed with him, damn he would give anything to have her at this side as he slept, to be able to cuddle up next to her. The one thing that had been surprising to himself since being with Claire was how much he liked being next to her when they slept, to know that she was there and it seemed even in his injured state that hadn't been beaten out of him.
"Am sure the infirmary beds are big enough," he commented lightly, "I won't tell if you don't."
He knew about the caffeine thing, he himself had done a few stints like that, surprisingly they had become less since coming to Atlantis, but he had done the same on a few occasions. But he knew the medical personnel basically ran on coffee or black tea, he'd seen it, damn probably half the people that had worked on him would have been living on the caffeine thing.
Caleb didn't comment as Claire left the bathroom, although once the door clicked closed behind her and he was left with his own thoughts he found himself....not panicking as such but he could feel the hair at the back of his neck stand on end.
The bathroom was the same colour as the shed he'd been held in, his mind telling him that he hadn't actually escaped, that this whole time the Genii had come up with a new way to torture him and he would start spilling secrets any minute now. He could feel the panic beginning to bubble in his chest, feel it as he tried to take a deep breath, his chest hurting as he tried to pull in the air, he was just about to get up and go searching for Claire - make sure he wasn't imagining everything - when the door opened and she stepped back through.
Caleb felt himself calm almost immediately, then felt stupid for panicking as he did, she had only left the room, she was going to get him what he had asked for, there was no need for the unsettled feeling that had encased him. Damn it, he was meant to be fine, he was meant to have moved on, the mirror was going to give him answers that were evading him in that moment.
"Am ready," he said, coldly, pushing that stupid panic to the back of his mind, there was no need for it.
He waited a moment as she turned the mirror around and he got the first look at what had been done to him. For a moment he didn't recognise the person staring back at him, it might have only been a few days since he'd been taken and then escaped, but he looked so damn haunted, like he hadn't eaten in weeks and not days.
His face was a mixture of colours, even his body didn't look any better, except for the bright red marks of where the chest drain was sat and the skin around the bullet wound that was hidden behind a plaster. There were blues, greens and even the odd purple colour that seemed to have coloured his torso.
Yet looking at himself, taking in everything that had been done to him, no memories came back, no flashes of the Genii beating him, nothing than what he had already remembered. Reaching out a hand he touched the mirror, his own reflection and he couldn't find himself in there, the look in his eyes wasn't his, the body wasn't his and he felt positively sick just looking at himself.
The Genii had done so much to him, for whatever reason, his body was looking like some kind of weird painting and to top it all off, he didn't remember a damn thing. Frustration grew in his stomach as he dropped his hand, he was meant to remember, looking should have made him remembered, that's what all the specialist said right, you acknowledge what happened to you and you can start to remember.
He looked at Claire, "I don't.....I should remember," he said voice harsh, "This was meant to work, damn it! It was meant to work! Everything that they did, everything you guys are doing to heal me, and I still can't remember! What the fuck am I meant to do now?"
He was most definitely frustrated if he found himself swearing, he never swore, never used profanities if he could help it, but in this case he figured it was warranted as he waited for her to answer him.
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