The flirting was good, it felt normal, even as Claire said she should stop, part of him didn't want her to, part of him wanted to carry on flirting, to let it naturally lead to where he knew it was going to go. It wouldn't be the first time they had, had a tryst in a bathroom, he even didn't think it was going to be the last either, in fact as he glanced around the bathroom he was sure there last bathroom rendezvous was actually this bathroom - they all looked the same to him after a while - which didn't help his own blush.

"Well unless you plan to follow through with a promise whilst am on an infirmary bed, you know I wouldn't go against the doctors orders then," he teased back, smiling so brightly at her he could feel the bruises pull on his face. He couldn't help actually looking her up and down, felt that fissure of pleasure race up his spine as he looked at her, damn he wanted to go up to her and kiss her so damn much.

"Damn if I don't want to kiss you right now," he said, not even realising he had actually said it out loud, thinking he had just thought it.

Even as the smile dimmed, the confidence retreated slightly, he couldn't quite take his eyes off Claire, it was like he was remembering exactly the last time they had 'hooked up' in a bathroom he could see the memory so clearly in his mind, yet when he tried to remember what happened to him. It was like looking at a black screen, there was just nothing there, nothing to bring forth and that made his frustration take over the soft pleasure he had been feeling.

Caleb smiled almost tiredly at the little joking about showering and napping in one, he had to agree it wouldn't be practical at all, he had known people to do that, to shower and have a nap at the same time but he had never actually managed to do it himself.

"But you'd be my wrinkly prune, right," he joked back to her, as he settled himself on top of the toilet seat, it almost a relief now that he was sat down, he hadn't realised how much standing up had actually taken out of him and he had to hide a yawn behind his hand.

As he told her about taking care of herself, he realised that he had somehow from the back of his mind become concerned for her well-being and stopped thinking of his own. Always the protector and never the protected, that was him, not always concerned for how his own body was acting but concerned for everyone else. It was the one trait of his that seemed to come through no matter the situation, damn he knew had he been on that planet with another member he would have made sure that person got home regardless of his own safety.

"I don't want you in the bed next to me," he whispered quietly to her, "you promise you'll take care of yourself?" It was almost as though he was saying goodbye to her without actually saying the words, but a part of him needed to know that she would get sleep when needed, would eat when needed, he had to know she was going to do that. It would make everything better.

Caleb ducked his head as Claire told him to lean on her, he had no idea exactly how to do that, sure he had in the past told her things no one else knew about him, had shared so much of himself with her, she probably knew more about him than he knew about himself sometimes. But he didn't know how to lean on her, he had never been in this situation before, had never been so badly beaten that he had needed someone to care for him.

Sure he had been injured when they'd first met, but that was so many years ago now and he hadn't been that severely injured, just a stitch or two and he'd been let go. With a person he could call a close friend.

"I'll try, to lean on you," Caleb said, it was the most he could promise, he didn't know how to do what she wanted from him, but he would try with everything he had.

The frustration seemed to come back with a bit of a vengeance as Claire told him how long he had been out, what had happened and how long he had been with the Genii. He had to admit knowing he was only with the Genii for a few days was a good thing, it had felt like months whilst he'd been held there. But he hadn't thought all the surgery he'd had, had taken that long, and now, now it seemed that stretched out in front of him was months and months worth of recovery.

He held her hand tightly in his, almost as though trying not to let himself drown in the memories that just weren't there happening, like he was trying to make sure he wasn't going to get lost in the bleakness of no memories.

"It doesn't feel like days," he said, frustration clear in his voice, "I remember leaving the shed, this stone shed they'd left me in, kneeling at the DHD, then this, it feels like hours, Claire, not days. I want to remember more, I don't want so much missing from my memories and I don't know...." he swallowed thickly as he added, "I don't know what I'll do if I see the Genii again."

Caleb didn't like the fact that Claire had said most of his injuries were superficial, that made it sound to him almost as though they hadn't happened to him, like he shouldn't be in as much pain as had been, that he should be able to walk two feet without feeling like he had ran a marathon.

He felt his nails dig into the palm of his hand even harder, he was sure there was going to be new marks added after that, but the frustration was taking hold, it wasn't something that could be flirted away this time. It seemed to be simmering just below the surface and he didn't think it was going to easy any time soon.

Looking at Claire, he said, "I'd like to look in that mirror now," his voice almost cold. The flirty Caleb from earlier tucked away once more, there were no soft sides to him showing at the moment.

"So kiss me."

Claire's voice was soft, with no pressure, no expectation, just a simple statement that invited Caleb to do what he wished. It was a chance for him to take control, to do what he wanted to in that moment, to be who he wanted to be, even if just for a brief while.

The problem was that Claire knew it wasn't as simple as that. It would be nothing more than a taste of normality for Caleb before the enormity of his situation hit him again, and their thoughts would have to return to his recovery, rather than just being themselves for a moment. It was going to be a long, rocky road they had to travel, and it was one they would need to walk together.

The flirtation and the tension pleasantly bubbling between them didn't last long, though, and Claire wondered what was dancing through Caleb's mind at that moment.If she knew her husband, he would be fretting over not being able to remember what had happened to him, and trying to work out ways to force the memories to come back.

Claire wished she could flick a switch and make him remember, make the process of healing - both physically and mentally - quick and easy, but there was little she could do to make Caleb's recovery either of those things. Sure, there was the accelerated healing that would begin in a few days, but that would only heal his body, not his tortured mind. Only once the memories came back, and Caleb was able to start working through things and processing them, would the mental and emotional healing commence.

Caleb's energy was waning, too, patently obvious when he sat on the toilet lid. Claire almost insisted he go back to bed, get some rest, but she wasn't here as his doctor. She was here as his wife, supporting him to make the choices he needed to make, and, until he was visibly struggling, rather than just looking a little tired, she had to make sure that he fekt as in control of the situation as possible.

"Yeah, I'd be your wrinkly prune," she said, her voice quiet and almost flat. She might have to insist that Caleb head back to bed if his energy appeared to dip any lower. She didn't want to take that decision away from him, but she may have no choice if he continued to tire.

Claire regarded him for a moment as he turned things around, made it all about her welfare rather than his, and she twitched an eyebrow upwards. "I'd rather be in the bed with you," she replied, her lips quirked up into a quiet smile. "Don't you know us doctors can get by on two thirds of one half of fuck all sleep, as long as we have enough caffeine," she remarked, almost in a throwaway tone. "I promise I'll look after myself, okay?"

And she would. She would just be able to get by on far less sleep than he thought, as long as she ate regularly, and kept her caffeine levels topped up. It was something all doctors learned as they went through their house officer years, and continued as long as they were a registrar. It wouldn't take long for Claire to go back to that way of life if needs be, and she couldn't think of a better reason or motivator.

Claire's heart lodged in her throat as Caleb promised her he would try to lean on her. She knew him well enough to know that he meant he would go it alone, although saying anything would just result in him getting upset or angry with her again. It was hard enough as it was; every time he snapped at her, Claire felt it cut a little deeper, and the last thing that she wanted was to encourage that even more.

Claire reached out, holding Caleb's hand in both of hers, as he explained - albeit with frustration colouring his voice - that he couldn't remember much more than flashes. It wasn't surprising, from a medical standpoint, but, as his wife, it broke her heart. Playing this dual role was far more taxing than she had anticipated.

She felt Caleb's body tense up as she explained that his injuries were largely superficial, and Claire frowned slightly as Caleb met her gaze, his eyes almost black and cold as night, his voice matching as he told her he wanted the mirror. She nodded, giving his hand a quick squeeze with both of hers, before leaning forward and kissing his forhead.

Without another word, Claire left the bathroom, closing the door behind her and leaning against it, taking a few deep, soothing breaths. She tried to release the pain and hurt that had been building up with every barb that Caleb had fired into her, but it wasn't enough. It was something she would need to deal with in private.

She flashed Carson a tiny, tight smile as she grabbed the full length mirror that was stashed in a corner of the infirmary, not wanting to talk about things at the moment, before retreating quickly to the bathroom, opening and shutting the door as quickly as she could, while dragging the mirror in behind her.Claire turned it away from Caleb, catching his eye, her gaze sober.

"Are you sure you're ready, e ipo," she murmured, ready to turn the mirror at Caleb's instruction, even though she was certain it was the wrong thing.

The reply he got from Claire was not what he was expecting, mainly because he hadn't realised he had said that out loud to begin with. Caleb just looked at her for a moment, not sure whether he was meant to act on it, whether he was meant to take that initiative, and yet he found himself tentatively, carefully taking a step towards her, thankfully she wasn't standing that far away from him.

Everything seemed to come down to this moment, if he followed through with what she said, if he kissed her like he so desperately wanted to he didn't think he would stop. He felt like he was back on that gym Claire hovering over him, daring him to kiss her after a year or more of friendship, not knowing what the outcome would be. He remembered the fear that had coursed through him back then, the worry that he was going to loose his best friend in the whole world and now he was back to that moment.

Terrified of what was to come next, as he ignored the stinging in his side, he leant forward and captured her mouth in the deepest kiss he could, almost as though he was a drowning man and the kiss would give him the air that he needed. The fear receded leaving only a faint pleasant hum at the back of his mind, as his arm - the on that wasn't still clinging onto the IV pole tightly - came up to hold her arm.

It was everything he wanted it to be and more so, it felt normal, the fear disappearing the longer he kissed her, as though every moment that morning was leading up to this very second. To this very kiss, it felt as though it was his first kiss with her all over again. Finally though he had to pull away, air was going to become a problem soon if he didn't and taking a deep breath was not exactly pain free for him at the moment.

He was almost shaking as he stood there, holding onto Claire as he rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed for a moment as a soft recognisable smile crossed his face, well she had told him to kiss her and well he always accepted challenges.

"So I kissed you," he whispered quietly to her, as though she wouldn't have gotten the memo.

Pulling himself away from her, he found that he had to take a seat once again, his energy seemed to be waning quickly for him, but he was determined to get everything over and done with, then maybe he could rest. Once he'd eaten, the promise of food seemed to give him something to aim for, although once he had eaten he wasn't sure how much longer after that he would be awake.

Caleb hated that his body seemed to be as weak as it was, that it didn't seem to want to do more than take a few steps here and there, hated that he felt so damn shaky after the kiss, after the adrenalin rush that it brought to kiss her. Damn he had wanted to kiss her so badly and now it seemed he had caused himself a little more damage than he had intended.

He smiled almost tiredly at Claire, as she said about being in bed with him, damn he would give anything to have her at this side as he slept, to be able to cuddle up next to her. The one thing that had been surprising to himself since being with Claire was how much he liked being next to her when they slept, to know that she was there and it seemed even in his injured state that hadn't been beaten out of him.

"Am sure the infirmary beds are big enough," he commented lightly, "I won't tell if you don't."

He knew about the caffeine thing, he himself had done a few stints like that, surprisingly they had become less since coming to Atlantis, but he had done the same on a few occasions. But he knew the medical personnel basically ran on coffee or black tea, he'd seen it, damn probably half the people that had worked on him would have been living on the caffeine thing.

Caleb didn't comment as Claire left the bathroom, although once the door clicked closed behind her and he was left with his own thoughts he found himself....not panicking as such but he could feel the hair at the back of his neck stand on end.

The bathroom was the same colour as the shed he'd been held in, his mind telling him that he hadn't actually escaped, that this whole time the Genii had come up with a new way to torture him and he would start spilling secrets any minute now. He could feel the panic beginning to bubble in his chest, feel it as he tried to take a deep breath, his chest hurting as he tried to pull in the air, he was just about to get up and go searching for Claire - make sure he wasn't imagining everything - when the door opened and she stepped back through.

Caleb felt himself calm almost immediately, then felt stupid for panicking as he did, she had only left the room, she was going to get him what he had asked for, there was no need for the unsettled feeling that had encased him. Damn it, he was meant to be fine, he was meant to have moved on, the mirror was going to give him answers that were evading him in that moment.

"Am ready," he said, coldly, pushing that stupid panic to the back of his mind, there was no need for it.

He waited a moment as she turned the mirror around and he got the first look at what had been done to him. For a moment he didn't recognise the person staring back at him, it might have only been a few days since he'd been taken and then escaped, but he looked so damn haunted, like he hadn't eaten in weeks and not days.

His face was a mixture of colours, even his body didn't look any better, except for the bright red marks of where the chest drain was sat and the skin around the bullet wound that was hidden behind a plaster. There were blues, greens and even the odd purple colour that seemed to have coloured his torso.

Yet looking at himself, taking in everything that had been done to him, no memories came back, no flashes of the Genii beating him, nothing than what he had already remembered. Reaching out a hand he touched the mirror, his own reflection and he couldn't find himself in there, the look in his eyes wasn't his, the body wasn't his and he felt positively sick just looking at himself.

The Genii had done so much to him, for whatever reason, his body was looking like some kind of weird painting and to top it all off, he didn't remember a damn thing. Frustration grew in his stomach as he dropped his hand, he was meant to remember, looking should have made him remembered, that's what all the specialist said right, you acknowledge what happened to you and you can start to remember.

He looked at Claire, "I don't.....I should remember," he said voice harsh, "This was meant to work, damn it! It was meant to work! Everything that they did, everything you guys are doing to heal me, and I still can't remember! What the fuck am I meant to do now?"

He was most definitely frustrated if he found himself swearing, he never swore, never used profanities if he could help it, but in this case he figured it was warranted as he waited for her to answer him.

So he kissed her.

Claire had seen the hesitation on his face, the flicker of fear dancing through his eyes, even as he took the short few steps towards her across the bathroom. Caleb seemed to be battling with something, and she had no idea what it could be. It was as though he wanted to hold her close, to be the couple that they had always been, but something was holding him back.

She wondered what he had been put through over the last few days that would leave him so mentally and emotionally broken, as well as physically. She would bet that not being able to remember what had happened to him would form a large part of it, too. Caleb was the kind of man who needed to know, to feel in control of every situation, and not being able to remember would be cutting him to the quick.

She didn't know what she had expected when she had told Caleb to kiss her, but it wasn't this: a kiss of such intensity that it knocked her sideways, taking her breath away. It was deep, and demanding, and searching, and reminded Claire of everything she had missed over the last few days.

It was as though they were finding one another again, reconnecting properly for the first time since Caleb had returned, and Claire gently slipped her arms around his neck, letting herself sink into the kiss, melt into Caleb, and lose herself in the moment. It was comforting, familiar, and, if she admitted it to herself, more than a little exciting. She tucked that towards the back of her mind, though. She didn't want to get Caleb overexcited and set his recovery back.

Claire let herself revel in the kiss, in the feel of her husband in her arms again. However, instead of feeling protected, Claire knew that, at this moment, she was Caleb's protector, and she wondered how heavily that would be weighing upon his mind.

Caleb ended the kiss, pulling back and resting his forehead against hers, a smile suffusing his lips as Claire returned the expression with a smile of her own. "So you did," she replied, her voice soft and warm, before closing the gap and rounding things off with a soft, tender kiss; nothing to get excited about, nothing to build on, more a closure of the more heated kiss that had come before.

Watching as Caleb sat down on the toilet lid again, Claire returned his tired smile. They needed to hurry things up, get him back to bed before he got to the point where she would have to get a wheelchair to get him back. She grinned, though, as he tried to assure her that the infirmary beds were wide enough for her to stay with him.

"Oh, I bloody wish," she said, her voice sincere. "You know Carson would kick me out, though. Not a chance he's going to let me stay a second night." Well, he might, but certainly not in the same bed as Caleb. She'd end up hunkered down in the chair again, barely sleeping, and waiting for any sign of distress from her husband.

Like now.

Claire had come back as quickly as she could with the mirror, but the Caleb she returned to was a different Caleb to the one she had left less than a minute before. "Everything okay, e te tau," she asked, closing the door firmly behind her. He didn't look okay, and that was concerning her.

His voice was cold and harsh as he assured Claire he was ready, and she bit back on the hurt that his tone caused. Now was not the time. Instead, she watched his face as he looked into the mirror, trying to get a handle on what was going on inside his head.

It didn't take long for Caleb to make his feelings known, and Claire's face creased with concern as he expressed his frustration at not remembering. She took a couple of steps towards him, and slipped a hand into his, looking at him in the mirror. She saw past the bruises and the injuries, saw her husband, scared and hurt.

"You get well, e ipo," she replied, her voice soft. "Your memories will come back, and we can deal with them then, okay? No matter what, you're not alone now."

Even after the kiss had ended Caleb still just stood there, soaking up Claire's presence drawing on her strength for a moment longer. When he had taken that step towards her to kiss her, he hadn't expected the kiss to take so much of his breath away, to make him feel things he feared he wasn't going to be able to feel again for a long while.

The soft smile on his face was almost normal for Caleb, despite the fact that he was stood in the infirmary bathroom battered and bruised. He didn't know how standing there in that moment had become the normal for them, but it had, and well he wasn't going to pass up a chance to feel normal if only for a few seconds.

After he had pulled away from her, sat down, he feared he was going to do a lot of sitting down in the next few days, his legs were starting to feel like they weren't able to hold him much longer. He partially dreaded having to take that walk back to the bed, he didn't want a wheelchair, would out right refuse one if Claire so much as brought one towards him. He wasn't that injured that he couldn't walk back, he'd make sure of it.

The teasing lasted a little longer, as he replied, "Well I'd cover you over with the sheet on the bed, Beckett would never know you were there, I promise, am good at keeping secrets," he winked at her, almost a sparkle of his old personality back right there in that moment.

It felt so nice to be teasing her, it had felt even better kissing her and as much as he wanted to do that again, repeatedly, he didn't think at that moment that he could stand up to do it again. He disliked the prospect of having to wait for Claire to kiss him, he wanted to be able to kiss her as and when he wanted, to walk up behind her whilst she was on shift and drop a sweet kiss on the back of her neck.

A memory of him doing just that surfaced to the front of his mind, there shifts had clashed almost the first two weeks of them being on Atlantis, with only the odd day of them being on the same rota, so by the time the end of the second week had come around, he had gone down to the infirmary, found Claire, wrapped his arms around her middle whilst he stood at her back and kissed her neck in greeting. It had been the sweetest thing that had happened them first few weeks, and that memory made him smile even more softly.

"If I could stand up right now, I'd definitely be kissing you again," he joked back, "Kissing you has all but taken all my energy, you've blown my mind," he was being silly he knew, the teasing was there, with an undercurrent of tiredness as well but he was determined not to let that show, no matter how much he failed at not showing it.

It wasn't long before that happy, almost pleasant feeling disappeared though, replaced by the almost anger that had consumed him from earlier, it was like he was two different people and he didn't want to be two different people, he wanted to be the one person. But it was like he could only have fleeting moments of happiness at the moment, like he only had fleeting moments of no pain, whenever the Genii got bored of torturing him, when they needed a break, he got a break, at that time he would try to picture Claire's face, try to hear her voice until the Genii came back to carry on.

Being left on his own, even for a moment had disturbed him a little bit more than he had liked, his mind knew he was on Atlantis but it was like his body had gone into a mini panic mode and that had never happened to him before.

"Am fine," he said curtly, he was just being stupid, he knew that, he wasn't still with the Genii, he was back on Atlantis. Claire was with him, he was safe, he was safe, that was what he kept telling himself over and over again.

The anger at not having his memories returned, fuelled him enough to stand up hastily, to pace in front of the mirror even as he knocked her hand from his, he forgot for a moment that he was still attached the IV pole, had only taken a step in the opposite direction when the chest drain pulled tight, the IV pole started to tip towards him.

"Damn it!" he cursed loudly, frustration well up as he found himself almost pulled backwards, he took the step towards the IV pole letting the drain go slack, the pole stand up as he caught hold of Claire's arm.

He looked her in the eye, every bit of frustration clear in his eyes for her to see, his body almost as tight a coil ready to spring open at any moment and he didn't know what to do, he wanted to shout, to scream, to punch something, to have this not happen to him and yet he couldn't stop a damn thing that was happening.

"What if they don't? What if I never remember Claire?" he asked, fear almost tingeing his voice, "I want to know what they did to me, and yet no amount of pain killers, looking into the damn mirror, the advanced healing that's going to happen seems to be making my memories come back."

He swallowed thickly, as the anger swirled inside of him, he hated this, hated this so much, so when the words came tumbling out of his mouth next, he didn't really understand what he was saying or how much he was going to end up hurting Claire.

"Aren't you meant to be a doctor, to fix me, to make me remember!"

Words fuelled by anger he was breathing heavily by the end, his face almost red as his frustration seemed to have reached a peak in that moment. He stared at Claire, demanding her to answer him, demanding that she fix him in that moment, to help him remember and damn the consequences in that moment.

Claire's eyes were locked on Caleb's face, reading his expression, her own smile matching his as they just stood there, enjoying the moment for what it was. If it wasn't for Caleb leaning on the IV, and the chest drain protruding from his side, it would almost feel normal.

However, Claire knew that they were going to have to adjust, and create a new "normal" while Caleb recovered, and that wasn't going to be easy. Caleb was already champing at the bit to resume life as they knew it, not wanting to take his time to recover and fully heal, and that, in itself, would make things more difficult than he was anticipating.

Concerned, she watched Caleb as he sank onto the toilet seat, clearly exhausted. It really would be a case of breakfast, then a nap, although, if she knew Caleb, he would fight that notion until he literally passed out. His strength would start to return once he got some food in him, and some proper rest, as opposed to the drug induced sleep after his surgery. That was when the real healing would begin.

Claire grinned, though, as Caleb promised he'd hide her if she stayed in the infirmary with him that night. "Ah, but Carson's a canny one," she replied, her tone conspiratorial. "I think he'd notice that your arse had grown several sizes overnight!" She couldn't think of anything nicer, in fact, but, no matter what, it just wasn't feasible. Neither of them would get any sleep, and Caleb definitely needed as much as as he could get at the moment. Better another night or two apart than to set his recovery back.

She wasn't sure that Caleb would feel the same, though.

The expression on Caleb's face, despite the tiredness and bruising, was almost normal, bearing no hint of the anger and frustration that had been lurking there, but Claire didn't dare to let herself hope that Caleb was starting to get a handle on his moods. There was a long road ahead yet, of that she was certain.

She gave him one of those looks as he said he would kiss her again if he could stand. "Who says you need to stand," Claire replied softly, moving to stand in front of him, before kneeling down, her hands gentle on his thighs, her gaze locked with his. What he did was up to him. All Claire wanted was for him to feel as normal as he could at the moment, and if that meant kneeling down in a bathroom, so be it.

Right now, she would give anything for Caleb not to have been injured, to be able to turn back the clock and prevent his suffering, but it was all a pipe dream. Shit happened, shit had happened, and all they could do now was to move forward as best they could.

Caleb tried to assure her that he was fine, as she wheeled the mirror into place, and Claire looked at him for a long moment, brow furrowed, concern marring her gaze. She could feel him thrumming with tension, and not the good kind, either.

She almost stumbled back as Caleb started to pace in the bathroom, tugging on his chest drain as he left the IV pole where it was. "Caleb," she said, her voice urgent and worried. He grabbed the pole with one hand to steady himself, and his other hand locked around her upper arm, holding himself upright.

Claire winced for a moment with surprise - he wasn't hurting her - as Caleb swore, and finally put voice to his fears. They weren't fears that she could address, though, not in a way that would him believe her. She moved forward slightly, placing a hand on Caleb's shoulder, looking him deep in the eye, his haunted gaze troubling her.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, her voice quiet and sincere, not knowing what to say. He was lost and afraid right now, and all she could do was to be here for him, however he needed her.

However, she jerked back the tiniest bit in shock as Caleb's rage got the better of him again, her eye wide, and she felt a lump rise in her throat, a lump that she swallowed back down, trying to stop the tears coming again. She couldn't let him see her upset, not now.

"I can't," she said, her voice quiet and almost helpless. "I can't make you remember any sooner than your brain is ready. Nobody can." Her eyes were bleak, perhaps with the tiniest hint of the tears that were threatening. "If I could, e ipo, I would." She stopped, stumbling over what she wanted to say, and her eyes dropped to the floor, not knowing what to say or do any more. Caleb was past listening, and his anger had completely taken over.

Slowly, she looked back up, her eyes glazed with worry. "Carson and the medical team can fix up the physical wounds, but the mental ones are going to take longer." She paused for a moment. "Would... would you like me to get Kate Heightmeyer to come and see you later?" It was the only thing she could think of now. Everything else was just clutching at straws, and, in her own way, Claire was feeling every bit as broken and helpless as her husband.

Caleb couldn't help smiling along with her as they joked about trying to hide her under the covers, it was nice to be able to joke around, it felt good to smile with her, to feel like nothing bad had happened to them. That this was just another normal day for them both, well it felt normal for the moment to Caleb, even as he took the seat on top of the toilet seat.

It was one thing to feel normal, to smile, to laugh, to tease Claire again, but that didn't mean that his body actually was back to normal. Tiredness was washing over him now, the lack of natural sleep the last several days, the lack of any kind of food – because he was pretty damn certain the Genii hadn't bothered to feed him whilst they had hold of him – it would tell on the biggest blokes on base, let alone someone like him.

He couldn't help the smile though as Claire knelt down in front of him, damn the comments he could make as she went down like that, but he bit his tongue, kept them to himself, even as her hands found the top of his legs. He could feel the heat of her hands through the pyjama bottoms he had on and damn if he didn't want to just lean forwards and capture her in another amazing kiss. To move forwards so her hands would slide further up his legs, so he could feel that heat elsewhere, yet he did none of that, he sat there for a moment just looking at her, not really believing that he had actually made it out from whatever place the Genii had kept him.

Slowly he raised up the non-needled hand and rested it against her cheek, his hand probably felt more callous against her skin than before, he had noticed the almost faded bruises on his hands, which told him at least he tried to fight his way home, even if he couldn't remember doing so. Before he leant forward and dropped his forehead onto her shoulder, kissing at her neck as he did so, lightly, softly, nothing as heated as the kiss before.

As he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, almost hugging her once more, no words had passed his lips and he hoped that Claire understood what he was saying to her, he was saying he loved her, saying he had missed her, saying he couldn't believe he had made it home and he had to reassure himself of that in that moment.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, hugging her, it was probably only a minute or two at the most – time still felt a bit weird to him at the moment – before he seemed to lift his head up, rested his chin on her shoulder, and began to laugh slightly.

“You're right,” he said quietly, “Beckett would definitely notice your arse under the covers,” it was a blatant flirt, a blatant joke, one that had it been an hour or so ago, he wouldn't have made at all.

Smiling he pulled away from her, a happy little contended buzz had taken up in his stomach as he looked at her, there was just something about Claire being with him, almost, taking care of him in that moment that made him feel happy.

That was why when his mood so rapidly changed, he didn't even realise he had done it, one minute it was like he was on cloud nine and then the next he felt every nerve ending thrumming with anger. Standing up and trying to pace hadn't worked, he'd nearly toppled himself, Claire, and the IV pole over and that had just ticked him off even more.

The words out his mouth he didn't even register saying, didn't know the effect they were having on Claire so blinded by his own frustration as he was in that moment. He didn't even pick up on the fact of how tightly he was holding her arm, until he had steadied himself and she had asked her question.

He just looked at her, not sure what to say, unable to say anything as the frustration curled around his stomach like a vice, did he wanted to talk to someone? Was talking to Heightmeyer really actually going to work? Sure he knew he was going to have to, there wasn't a choice in the matter but, it would be mandatory before he was let back in the field – if he ever got let back in the field – but did he want to talk to her today?

He rubbed a hand across his face, “I want...” he paused, he wanted a lot of things that didn't seem to be given to him yet, “I think our breakfast is getting cold, we should really go get it.”

The bathroom floor was cold and hard against Claire's knees, but it was worth the discomfort, just to see the look on Caleb's face. He was looking more like himself than he had since his return, almost as though he was starting to come back to himself, to come back to her. She knew she was expecting too much for things to be returning to normal so soon, and she had no right to demand that of him.

Caleb had every right, though, to deal with the trauma he had been through whichever way he needed to, and if that meant that he was going to be short tempered, and go through a few mood swings, then so be it.

The problem for Claire would be knowing when to draw the line, when Caleb's behaviour became unacceptable. If that happened, it would be a judgment call knowing what to do, and whether how she dealt with it was the right thing for Caleb, and the right thing for her.

Claire had promised Caleb that she would always be there, would never leave him, and, even now, in their darkest hour, she would never dream of leaving him. Still, she wondered just how far their relationship would be tested. That was something that she didn't really want to think about right now, not with Caleb smiling at her the way he always did, and she could only hope that things would settle down soon.

She smiled softly as Caleb's hand rested on her cheek and he leaned in, burying his lips in her neck, pulling her close with an arm around her shoulders, and Claire just let herself breathe. She enjoyed the moment for what it was: the eye of the storm, a bright, shining moment of warmth in the swirling snowstorm of Caleb's mood swings. It was only a matter of time before the winds turned, and she would be caught in the maelstrom again.

That quiet moment felt like both a second and an hour, and Claire chuckled quietly as Caleb agreed that Carson would spot her. "Well, as long as you noticed it before he came along and tossed me out of the infirmary, it would be all to the good," she grinned. While she couldn't imagine anything better than curling up with Caleb, it would do neither of them any good at the moment.

Claire swallowed thickly as Caleb's mood shifted like lightning, and, without warning, the storm was upon them again. This time, though, she had run out of words, and the only suggestion that she could offer was that Caleb talk to someone other than her, talk it through with a professional. Perhaps he would be less inclined to take it out on Kate Heightmeyer.

After all, you always hurt the ones you love.

She tried to keep her expression neutral, and wasn't sure if she quite succeeded. Caleb sounded as though all the fight had gone out of him, yet there was still a hint of that anger simmering beneath the surface, and Claire knew that it would only take a moment for it to erupt again. Maybe she ought to take the time to speak to Kate Heightmeyer, get some tips on how to deal with this new, harsher version of the man she loved.

"Breakfast it is, then," she replied, her voice small and quiet. She didn't quite meet Caleb's eyes as she stepped to his side again, her arm around his waist without him needing to ask. "Come on then, you set the pace." In that moment, Claire knew that this was going to be more difficult than she had ever imagined.

To Caleb it was like he was on some kind of emotional roller coaster, actually that is exactly what he was on, one minute he was sat there flirting, happy, almost serene and accepting of what he had been through and taking every bit of comfort he could from Claire. The next, the next he was on his feet, pretty much screaming in her face at the injustice of it all, and yeah the shouting made him feel good in that moment.

It made it so that expel of frustration, even towards Claire, made him feel calmer, made him feel more in control, because at the end of the day that was the one thing that was hurting him the most. Not the bullet wound at his side, the open wound where a chest drain was protruding, not even the multicoloured bruises that seemed to litter his body, it was the lack of control.

For the bloke that claimed he was impulsive this was definitely a drain on that carefree, easy going bloke, maybe the military had drilled more into him than he had realised. He barely recognised himself, barely knew the words coming out of his mouth as his own and he wanted to stop, wanted to not feel this way any more but he just didn't know how to stop.

It was as though some kind of dam had broken inside of him since he had gotten back and woken up, a dam that he didn't know how to plug. He wanted to share everything with Claire, to tell her how grateful he was that she had essentially saved his life, wanted to tell her that he made a point of escaping from the Genii to come back to her and he wanted to tell her what had happened. Although he still didn't remember much yet.

But everything that he tried to say, tried to explain to her seemed to just, well it just seemed to end up in him feeling frustrated with himself. Angry at himself for not being able to tell her what had happened, angry at the Genii for doing this to him and the more he tried to not be angry, the angrier he got and then he exploded.

Caleb knew that apologising to Claire, telling her he was sorry after every outburst he had was going to end up doing more harm than good, because he knew there were only so many times you could say sorry before the person didn't believe you any more and if there was one thing he didn't want was for Claire not to believe him.

He loved her with everything he had at the moment and for her to not believe him when he said something, he wasn't sure how he would take that. So he bit it back, told himself he'd apologise when the time was right, that he'd try to keep his frustration to himself, even as he stood there breathing heavily from the exertion of doing just that.

Caleb didn't miss that Claire seemed to be unable to meet his eyes, he wanted to reach out to touch her, comfort her, but in that moment with the anger just barely contained once more, he had no right to reach out to her.

At least he didn't flinch this time as she wrapped an arm around his middle, helping him from the bathroom, the pace was slow going, and every step seemed to drain even more of his energy. He didn't know how long he could keep this up, to keep shouting at her like he had done, to let his frustration rule over him, but it was like he was on boat, out in the roughest seas he could imagine and he was getting tossed from side to side, getting more battered and with no end in sight.

He was kind of glad that the infirmary was mostly empty, he hoped that no one had over heard him shouting at Claire, he didn't think he would be able to live that down if rumours started to spread that about that kind of encounter. He didn't want the looks he'd get for having shouted at his wife.

"Slow and steady wins the race, eh?" he said, smiling tiredly at her, his feet seemed to be doing little more than shuffling along now.

"Claire, I..." he started, feet shuffling along, his head not daring to look at her, voice pitched low so that only she would hear him, "I think I should probably talk to Heightmeyer."

It was the first step in what was going to be one of many if he wanted to recover, to suggest a piece of healing, to take that small step of control back into his own hands. Besides, as he watched his feet shuffle back towards the bed he had just gotten out of, he knew he couldn't keep shouting at Claire, not that he had been doing it intentionally anyway. He just wanted to stop feeling like he was about to be thrown overboard and there was going to be no life boats there to save him and damn that was the last time he was going to watch the titanic ever again, if that was the analogy his brain gave him in this situation.

Claire felt a weighty, uncomfortable burden settle on her shoulders as she tried to come to terms with what had happened between she and Caleb in the bathroom. The slow walk back to his bed was largely quiet, and she was a little perturbed to find herself relieved at that. Despite his attempt at a joke, Claire could barely raise a smile.

She and Caleb didn't fight. At all. So to have him biting at her, taking things out on her the way he was, stung more than she could ever admit to him. Claire knew that she had to let Caleb heal, to work through things however he needed. Still, it didn't stop it hurting when he was expressing his anger by lashing out at her.

She glanced at Caleb as he started to speak, not prompting him when he paused, letting him say what he needed to say. In truth, Claire was half expecting another outburst, another explosion, and she stiffened slightly, steeling herself for what was to come, ready to try to calm him in case he attracted attention from the infirmary staff.

Claire blinked, though, and almost stopped in her tracks as Caleb agreed to talk to Kate Heightmeyer. "That's good," she said, trying to keep her voice level, even as she dared to foster a spark of hope within her that Caleb was willing to try, willing to make the effort to start dealing with things, even though his physical healing had barely begun. Perhaps he was recognising that his anger, his frustration, was boiling over, perhaps he didn't like what he was hearing himself say.

They reached his bed, and Claire dared to give Caleb a soft smile. "I think our breakfast's gone cold, e te tau," she murmured. "Want to get back into bed, and I can see whether we can get stuff heated up again?" There was a small microwave in her office, and she could warm through the few things that needed to be hot, the tea and coffee included. Maybe a few moments on his own would give Caleb a chance to come back to some sort of balance.

Maybe a few moments on her own would allow Claire, too, to begin to process this new dynamic that was threatening to destabilise the one relationship she would go to the ends of the earth to protect.