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 Post subject: Maybe, Baby - TAG: Caleb
PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2017 8:42 pm 
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Claire stifled a yawn. She and Caleb had been back on Atlantis for a month now, and he had been away for the last few days on a mission to help the Athosians in their new home. As usual, she found it hard to sleep without him there, and, as such, had probably spent far more time in the infirmary than she should have done, catching up on paperwork and covering shifts as favours for the other doctors. She was hoping those favours would pay off once Caleb was home. In fact, it was only a few hours until his team was expected back.

Still, she couldn't recall the last time she had felt this tired, and was a little queasy, too. That could be the fact that it was still early, though, and she already had two large mugs of coffee sloshing around inside her. She really ought to soak that up with some breakfast. She glanced at her watch. Still only 7.30, which was a touch early for food for her.

The infirmary was starting to wake up, so it was time for Claire to put on her game face, no matter how tired she was. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and quickly looked away. She looked more washed out than usual, and she just hoped she looked a little more awake when Caleb got back later. She really didn't want him worried about her lack of sleep. If she felt like this in a few days, she'd ask Carson to check her over, just to make sure she hadn't picked something up when she was offworld last week.

Taking another swig of coffee, she closed the office door behind her, pasted a smile onto her lips, and went to work.

-------------------------------

It proved to be a busy morning. A biological scare in one of the unexplored areas of the city had kept the medical staff run off their feet, and only now, after two in the afternoon, had Claire had a chance to sit down and get something to eat. Not that she was on a break. The office door was open, and she was ready to tend to anyone who needed her help.

The sandwich and soup she had had sent up from the mess hall had filled a hole, but nothing more. She hadn't had the time to enjoy it, really, knowing they were so busy. In fact, she was just about to take a slurp of soup when an urgent voice called out for a doctor. Leaning out of the door, Claire noticed all the staff were busy already, and, with only a small, regretful sigh, she pushed her food aside and made her way into the infirmary.

An Athosian father was carrying a silent baby in his arms, and Claire's first instinct was to check the baby. However, as she got within a few steps of the man, her vision swam, her legs crumpled, and everything went dark.

-------------------------------

Her eyes fluttered open, and Claire was a little disoriented to find herself on a bed in the infirmary, Carson at her bedside, looking concerned. "Welcome back to the land of the living, lass," he said, his voice quiet as he took her wrist, checking her pulse. "You appear to have had a wee fainting spell there. Nothing to worry about, but I ran a few scans while you were out." He paused for a moment, perching on the side of her bed, taking her hand in both of his, a concerned, brotherly gesture. "You're slightly anaemic, so I'd like to keep you in overnight, get that sorted out." He paused for a moment, before deciding to just plough on. "Claire, love, How long have you known that you're pregnant?"

Claire's jaw literally dropped open. "You fucking what," she stuttered, shaking her head. That just wasn't possible. She was infertile, couldn't have children. She'd known that for years, and it was her biggest regret. "I... I can't be pregnant, Carson. You know I'm infertile. You must have cocked up."

He shook his head, a small smile on his lips. He knew that this would be unexpected for his deputy, knew that she and Caleb had expected to never be able to have children of their own, and he hoped that he was delivering what would turn out to be happy news. "If I'm not very much mistaken, love, you're about 16 weeks along. And you didn't notice anything? Didn't suspect you might be pregnant?"

Her head was spinning again, and not because she was about to faint. This was something she would have killed to hear, would have desperately wished to be true. But it was also something that she would have liked to have talked to Caleb about. Because they had never believed it was possible, they had avoided talking about the "what if". It was too painful for Claire to consider, truth be told.

But now... it looked as though they would have to do more than talk about it. Deep down, the excitement was bubbling up inside her, but she didn't know how Caleb would react. Sure, he was great with kids, but they were children they were able to hand back. How would he feel about being a father himself? And now, to be told she was almost halfway through pregnancy, without having noticed... well, she was fucking gobsmacked.

"I... I had no idea," she admitted. "I've not been particularly regular the last few years, so it was nothing out of the ordinary." Yes, she had gained a little weight, but it wasn't unusual when she wasn't keeping up her workouts, and she definitely hadn't been training as hard since the Beta site. She just hadn't thought anything was amiss. 16 weeks was a long time, though. Claire laughed bitterly. "Here's me, a bloody doctor, and I couldn't even tell I was pregnant! Some doctor I am!"

A commotion was heard in the hall outside, and Claire recognised a familiar voice. A smile slid onto her lips, but it was tempered with nerves. She reached out and took Carson's hand. "Please... don't tell him," she begged. "This is something I have to tell him myself." Carson looked pained for a second, before nodding. "It's none of my business," he said simply, before nodding to the drip that he had sneakily attached to the back of her hand while she had been unconscious. "Now, don't go anywhere, you hear me? I'm keeping you in overnight."

Claire gave him a mock scowl as he left her bedside to attend to Caleb's team returning, and she took in a deep breath of her own. She had no idea what she was going to say to him, but she'd better come up with something fast.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 10:02 am 
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Caleb had been off Atlantis for the last few days helping out the Athosians set up there new village. It had actually been really good fun in a way, to be able to actually help someone and see that help kind of be completed before he left. It was very rarely that any of the off world teams got to see that help in any shape or form, they were always there briefly and called back later. Plus it helped that the Athosians had been so grateful that there had been the very nice Athosian wine handed out at the end of every day. An really who was he to decline an offer, they didn't want to upset there partners after all.

One or two of his team had gone to bed with sore heads, he didn't have much sympathy for them really he'd warned them about the wine, had told his team that they still had to get up the next day and work. There wouldn't be any slacking off and despite the few grumbles of protest in the morning when several were feeling hungover they did get straight back to work, the joys of military you carried on until you dropped.

It was surprising that he had actually slept as well as he did, especially considering by the forth day he was kind of itching to get back to Claire or to at least speak to her briefly. But he had put that down to manual labour he'd done, not that he was adverse to hard work of course, but that kind of labour wasn't something any of the team were really prepared for and he knew at least one member of the team would sleeping in the next few days.

So there he was stood in the middle of the infirmary, dirt caking most of his uniform and if he ran a hand through his hair there were would be dust there as well, muscles aching, laughing along with the small group, ignoring the small glares they were getting from the nursing staff. He wasn't sure whether that was due to the dirt they'd all tracked in or the rather joyous nature they were in. They were at the end of the day a team of blokes, there had been a lot of ribbing of each other going on the past day or so. It wasn't often they'd get 'missions' that were so relaxed and enjoyable. That didn't mean people didn't stay professional they always were.

“So come on sir, where's that nurse of yours?” asked one of the newer recruits, who had joined them most recently.

Caleb just laughed, “I wouldn't let her hear you calling her a nurse, Trueman, she's got access to a lot of pointy objects and will make your infirmary stay unbearable.”

It was good in a way that his relationship with Claire was kind of common knowledge, they were on Atlantis and the rules were a lot more relaxed. There wasn't that such strong need to be discreet at all times, they could sit in the Mess together, share an evening here and there. It was nice.

“Or she'd just grab you by the balls till you apologise, that's what happened to our boy Williams here,” interjected one of the others.

Caleb rolled his eyes at the lewd joking, it was always the case when they got together and he was use to it by now, although he knew that if Claire heard any of them she would definitely have there balls. But well he couldn't say he hadn't warned them. He didn't have to look to know that Michaels had gotten a smack to his head for the comment from his 2IC, he heard the girly yell.

Actually as he glanced around the infirmary, it was overly busy that afternoon, but even amongst the noise he realised he couldn't see Claire, nor if he listened close enough could he hear her voice. Which was odd because he knew she would have worked herself to the bone with him not being there, something he had tried to stop her doing but failing at, not only that but he knew she would have made herself on shift for when he returned.

Not that she would have been able to tend to him, but whenever he'd gone off world and come back Claire was always in the infirmary, always a presence there and he found it odd that she wasn't there at that moment. It felt like there was something missing.

He spotted Beckett come from one of the more private areas of the infirmary, leaving his team mates to there continued joking around (a nurse would definitely see to them shortly or kick them out for being too noisy) he went over. He knew that Claire and Beckett were close, so knew if he couldn't find Claire the next person who would know would be him.

“Hey doc, don't suppose you've seen Claire? Figured she'd be around,” he said, gesturing to the commotion going on around them.

“Ah Caleb, lad, just the person I wanted to see,” Beckett said smiling brightly at him as he put a hand on his arm to guide him further away from the crowd, “Have you been seen to yet, lad?”

“Not yet,” Caleb answered, “Where's Claire?” he added, realising the doctor hadn't actually answered his question. Something felt off, call it a gut feeling or whatever, but there was something a miss.

Beckett knew he wasn't going to be able to deter Caleb much longer, it amused him how much the young man doted on the woman currently lying in one of his hospital beds. “She's back there, she fainted earlier, she's fine but...”

Caleb didn't hear the rest of the sentence, hadn't heard anything passed the word 'fainted', if there was one thing Claire was and that was strong. She was the healer out the two of them, he could count on one hand how many times he'd seen her injured, he was the one that ended up hurt. She patched him up, not the other way around.

He didn't give Beckett a chance to finish as he all put pushed the smaller man out of the way and made his way purposefully into the area that Claire was in. His chest feeling like someone twice his size was sitting on it, his hands clammy as his mind supplied the worse case scenario imaginable, he wasn't sure he was going to like what he saw in that room.

But he couldn't not go see her, as he she finally came into view, he was sure he was about ready to pass out himself, she was propped up in bed, IV attached to her arm. His heart was still beating a mile a minute, as he strode over, tracking more dirt across some pristine floors, he was still in near enough full off world gear – minus the P90 that was normally strapped to his chest – as he perched himself right on the edge of her bed, took her hand in his.

“Claire, what you been doing?” he asked, voice shaky, as he tried to see if there was any visible signs of injury, “Beckett said you'd passed out?”

He would swap places with her in a second, he would want to be in that bed injured instead of her, he'd do anything to make sure she wasn't sat there with a bag of fluid attached to her arm.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 10:40 am 
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Claire knew she didn't have much time to work out how she was going to tell Caleb that she was pregnant. If Carson was able to stall him, she had maybe ten or fifteen minutes, but, if she knew Caleb, she probably had less than that. The voices from his team grew louder, and Claire could just about make out the banter. It didn't surprise her that Caleb was getting ribbed for their relationship, but he was more than capable of taking care of himself. Still, if she was up to it, she'd like to get out of the bed and give them a little scare. It wasn't worth Carson's ire, though.

She could hear Carson trying to divert Caleb to get his post mission checks done, but she'd lay money on that not working. In fact, it was mere moments before Carson folded and told Caleb where she was, and why. Letting her head fall back onto the pillow, Claire sighed. No more thinking time. This was it.

She had known since she was a teenager that she had wanted children, and finding out that she was infertile had broken her. In a heartbeat, gone was the dream of having her own large brood, of having her own loving family to raise and continue her whānau's traditions. She had put that dream behind her, and, even though she was happier with Caleb than she could have imagined possible, there was always the spectre of children hanging over her.

Caleb would make a great dad, too. Thing is... she didn't know whether he actually wanted kids. When they had talked about it, it was always in the abstract: "if" they decided they wanted kids, they could adopt, that sort of thing. There had never been any particular expression of desire from him to have children of his own, and that was why Claire was so worried about telling him. Hell, she didn't even know how to broach the subject.

Her time was up, however, as Caleb's concerned - almost scared - face came peeking around the curtain, and Claire gave him a wan smile as he sat on the bed, taking her hand. "I'm fine, really," she said, her voice as calm as she could make it. "Just tired and a bit anaemic. There's nothing wrong with me, I promise."

And that was true. She wasn't sick, she was pregnant, and she'd be up and about in no time at all. In fact, there was no way she was going to let Carson keep her in overnight if she didn't have to. Claire gave Caleb's hand a little squeeze. "Anyway, what are you doing here," she chastised, giving him a mock frown, before the soft smile came back. "You need to go get checked up and changed." She took a quiet, deep breath in. She couldn't tell him right then and there, he'd never bugger off to get himself sorted out if she did.

"Go get yourself sorted out, then you can come back here and make a fuss of me. Deal?" Not that her voice broached any arguments, mind you. And the more time she could give herself to get her head around everything, the better.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 11:42 am 
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There was still very much a frown on Caleb's face as she tried to tell him she was fine, yeah he didn't believe that at all. Not when she followed it up with being tired and anaemic, you didn't just get anaemic without some underlying problem, that much he knew from his own history. Besides every time he'd been told he was that had been after some kind of more serious injury, in fact if he recalled slightly the check up he'd had when they'd first met he was told the same thing, was told to just rest more (which he really hadn't done), but there was no obvious signs that Claire had been injured.

Squeezing the hand tighter he said, “Am fine, nothing but dust and sore muscles, the Athosians were lovely hosts. No one got hurt,” Which was true, other than the odd scratch when they'd tried to lift something the wrong way or aching arms after doing the same repetitive motion again and again, he was fine.

He eyed her suspiciously for a moment, he wasn't going to agree to that deal until he was one hundred percent sure she was okay. “I know what this is, by the way,” he started, thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of her hand, mindful of the IV so it was more he was playing with her fingers. “You should know by now that you can't hide things from me, Claire, and am sorry if I caused you to end up like this.”

Caleb hated that she wouldn't sleep that well without him there, but he couldn't stop going off world, and he knew she wouldn't ask that of him. But he was going to have to find a way to make sure she doesn't run herself into the ground next time. He smiled softly at her, even with how she looked rather tired and worn out, not that he was going to say that to her.

“I'll try to leave something of mine behind next time,” he finally explained, “so you can sleep better when am not there. I don't want you making yourself ill over me, am definitely not worth that hassle sweetheart.” He very carefully brought the hand to his lips and kissed it.

He still hadn't actually left the infirmary yet and clearly had no intention of leaving it just yet, “You promise me you're okay yeah? I don't....you scared me,” he admitted quietly, even as he heard the rustle of the curtain again. It was probably Beckett there to offer Claire back up for kicking him out to go and get changed, but he didn't want to leave.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 1:16 pm 
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"I'm fine," Claire reiterated, giving Caleb a small smile. The look on his face, though, told her that he wasn't about to accept this at face value. It would take some persuasion for him to believe that there was nothing actually wrong with her. More like everything - potentially - right. She still needed a little more time, though, to be able to put things into words for Caleb.

She needed to prepare him for something neither of them had ever thought would happen, had never thought possible. And how could she do that? Experienced as she was in telling relatives that loved ones had died, or there were health issues that would effect the entire family, she simply didn't know how to tell the man she loved that they were going to become parents for the first time.

"You still need to go and get your post mission check done, though," she chided gently. "Besides, you're all mucky. I don't want the nurses bloody coming grumbling to me when they find bits of mud and grass in the bed when they let me go." Truth be told, she just wanted to pull Caleb down onto the bed with her - to hang on and not let go.

It stung, though, when Caleb said he knew she was hiding something from her. The last thing that she wanted was to hide anything from him, especially not something as momentous as a baby, their baby. She just didn't know how to tell him, how best to put it into words. She laughed, though, as Caleb blamed himself.

"Don't be so bloody silly," she grinned, giving his fingers a squeeze. "It's not your fault. And you leave plenty behind when you're offworld. It's just... not you." She couldn't cuddle up with a jacket or something. Claire knew, though, that it was something she was going to have to get over, now that she was pregnant. She had to put their baby first when it came to looking after herself.

She smiled as Caleb kissed the back of her hand. "I promise you, I'm fine," she murmured, her green gaze locking with Caleb's. "But you need to sod off and get checked, get changed, and then come back. I'm not going anywhere, and then..." She paused for a second. A cough came from the other side of the curtain. "Look, don't keep Carson waiting, I don't want him whining at me as well!"

Claire gave Caleb a warm smile, the pieces clicking into place as to how she was going to tell him he was going to be a father. "Go on, Trouble. I want you back here in half an hour, you hear me?"


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 1:47 pm 
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Caleb heard Beckett cough from the other side of the curtain, he couldn't help rolling his eyes slightly, the man had the worse or the possible – depending on how you looked at it – timing when it came to the two of them. He still couldn't quite shake that sick feeling in his stomach that he'd had when Beckett had first told him that Claire had fainted, she had always been a strong woman, he'd never really had to sit at her bedside before and despite her insistence to go, he still took a moment to just sit there.

He leaned in closer to her, “Love you,” he whispered so only she could hear, placing a kiss on her forehead before finally, finally getting off the bed. He didn't say them words nearly enough to her, and he only ever said them so she could hear them.

He might not be eased of his guilt completely, the damnable woman had landed herself in the infirmary, because – of what he thought – was him. He did hate that they couldn't bascialy go off world together every time, but he also knew that if they spent that much time together they probably would drive each other mad. Especially considering at the end of the day he had to take orders where she didn't always have to.

“I'll be back, fifteen minutes, promise,” he said, finally stepping away from the bed and towards the curtain. If he had his way, he'd get the check up and be straight back without showering, but as he stepped around the curtain and saw Beckett's look, he knew he wouldn't be back in the infirmary until he'd cleaned up.

He could hear his team mates getting reprimanded for dragging dirt into the infirmary by the other staff members, no doubt they'd all be on cleaning duty soon enough after there little escaped.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, fully checked and in clean uniform Caleb wondered back into the infirmary. It had quietened down a bit now, his team mates had obviously been checked over declared fit and sent on there way, Michaels had even asked if he'd wanted to join them for a bite to eat in the Mess, Caleb had very stubbornly declined.

He couldn't think of eating, his stomach was tying its self in knots, he had tried to go straight back to Claire after Beckett had checked him over, but the ever smiling man had (an really he didn't know why the man kept looking at him with that damn smile) refused until he had at least showered. In fact there had very nearly been a bit of a shouting match between them, but Beckett had threatened him with not being able to come back at all until the morning if he didn't get himself out of his damn site and soonish.

So there he was, freshly showered – quick 1 minute shower courtsey of the military – jacket hanging over his arm, he was too warm at the moment to wear it, blue t-shirt firmly in place, one he'd picked up from the floor without really looking at it. For all he knew it was Claire's, not that it would have fitted properly if it was, but still, he hadn't paid much attention to what he'd put on. His hair was still damp from the shower and stuck to his head as he stepped back around the curtain to Claire again.

Smiling brightly at her, despite his worry, he held out his arms, “Suitable to enter ma'am?” he joked, before heading over to the bed and took his place once more at her side. “Sorry it took me longer than I thought, your boss is a pain in the arse,” he said conspiratorially, not that his voice was low and he knew that Beckett would hear of it, but he didn't care.

“Are you alright?” he asked for what must have been the hundredth time since he'd come back from the Athosian home world.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 2:08 pm 
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Claire was beginning to despair that Caleb would ever leave, not that that was what she actually wanted. She wanted to just have him hold her, tell her everything would be alright, that they'd get through this together. Her eyes closed as he kissed her forehead, telling her that he loved her. That alone told her how worried he was. He didn't say it very often at all. "I love you too," she replied, her voice soft, smiling gently again as she opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Take as long as it takes," she said, grinning. "I don't want you back here without your checkup completed, and the stink of Athosian animal shit washed off you!" He didn't smell that bad, but she might as well tease him a little bit. He'd expect it, anyway, so might as well demonstrate that she really was okay.

-----------------------------------

The next twenty minutes had Claire turning things over and over in her mind, trying to figure out the best way to tell Caleb that she was pregnant. Coming straight out of it was an option, but it didn't quite feel right. Neither did pussyfooting around the issue, trying to wrap it in niceties.

If she wasn't here in the infirmary, maybe she'd come up with some silly, creative way to tell him, but that didn't really feel right either. It would have been one thing if they had been planning a pregnancy, but how the hell did you go about dropping such a massive bombshell if it was something that you had never thought was possible? Fucked if she knew.

In what seemed like no time at all, Caleb presented himself for inspection, and Claire couldn't help but laugh. "You'll do, sailor," she grinned, patting the bed on her right hand side. She didn't want him the same side as the IV this time. She needed to be able to hold his hand properly and look at him as she told him.

And there it was. Straight in, no messing around. Caleb needed to know she was okay, needed to know what was going on. "I promise you, I'm alright," Claire said, her voice soft and quiet, almost hesitant. She laced her fingers with his. "But... I have a condition. A long-term thing."


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 2:42 pm 
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Caleb couldn't help the grin as she said he was fit to come aboard, he sat on her right hand side this time, making sure that he wasn't going to cause any more damage to the IV, not that he had last time when he'd sat on her left. His jacket had been thrown over the end of her bed, the blue a splash of colour against the white sheets of the infirmary, along with showing him just how pale she looked.

He felt his stomach twist again as he looked at her, god he felt like he'd been away for months not mere days, how had he been gone just a few days and seemingly missed so much? Was this how it felt to their own families, they were obviously gone for months on end with no contact, only for them to show up on doorsteps claiming marriage. He rubbed a hand across the back of his head, a gesture that would show her that his worry hadn't ease any, despite is supposed calm exterior.

Caleb squeezed her hand back tightly, as she admitted to having a long-term condition, his mind jumping to all the possible things that could be. The worse one being cancer of course, his stomach dropping to the bottom of his boots, he was sure he'd paled slightly as well, swallowing thickly he said, “Long-term?” he asked, voice quiet, he felt like he wanted to cry, scream and hit something all at once.

Claire, his Claire couldn't be ill, it wasn't allowed, he was going to move Heaven and Hell (or maybe just Atlantis and Earth) to make sure she was healthy. This couldn't be happening to them, they'd both been so happy, had they tempted fate? Everything had fallen right for him, finding Claire, becoming Best Friends with her, realising he'd fallen in love with her, meeting her parents, moving to Atlantis, it had all been so good.

“Claire, please, just tell me,” he said, voice thick with unspoken emotion. “We can leave, we'll go back to Earth, anything you want, just tell me.”


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 3:50 pm 
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Claire felt better already, just with Caleb beside her. As long as she could find the words to tell him about their baby, she would be okay. They would be okay, she hoped. This was all assuming that he would actually want their child as much as she did. That realisation hit her hard just then: she wanted this baby. She needed this baby. Their baby. She just hoped that Caleb would feel the same.

The rub of his hand across the back of his head told Claire just how worried Caleb was about her. She just couldn't spit it out, though. She didn't know how. She needed to feel him out first, work out how he would feel about becoming a father by giving him little bitesize chunks.

That didn't mean that she couldn't have a little fun with him, though.

Claire tried to keep the sparkle out of her eyes, and the smile from her lips, and felt immediately guilty as she saw Caleb start to panic about this "long term condition". She couldn't look him in the eye, otherwise she'd cave, just let it spill out, and she just didn't think that was the best way to go about it.

"This condition... it's lifelong, and it'll affect both of us, but it has a few stages," she said, her voice soft, but that bloody smile twitched away at the corners of her lips. "The first stage lasts about nine months or so, and it's pretty bloody taxing for me, from what I understand." The smile grew a little. "Then the next stage lasts about... 18, 20 years or so, maybe a little longer, and that's the most challenging stage for us both, before things start to get easier, but it never goes away."

Her smile was almost full bore now, her eyes sparkling, almost with tears, as she waited for Caleb to put everything together and work it out.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 4:28 pm 
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Caleb had all his focus on her Claire, not missing a damn thing, which is why he was completely baffled by the small smile that started showing on her face. She was telling him about this life long terminal thing she had and she was smiling about it, he knew a lot about women, had, had enough encounters to think he knew what made the majority of them tick, He was also really good at reading people, a skill that he had picked up since joining the Stargate programme – after all you had to be pretty damn good to spot a liar – but this reaction was not something he expected.

He frowned at her, “Claire, I don't get what you're trying to say,” he said, working out every calculation he could as he added up what she was saying. Nine months for part of it, then eighteen to twenty years for the next part, and then it got easier? Seriously what was his damn wife on with.

Caleb just sort of stared at her for a moment, never actually letting go of her hand, looking at the smile on her face, adding up the numbers she'd just told him. It was the nine months that finally let the penny drop for him, there was only one thing about nine months he knew of, because it was a very specific time frame, very specific.

He let go of her hand, as shock ran through his system, that wasn't right, she'd said nine months, “But you can't? You said....” he had to move, had to get up. Standing up, he paced back and forth for a moment, before stopping at the end of her bed, “Mine?” he asked, before shaking his head, “I mean, I did that to you!”

He gestured to her stomach, her very much not as flat as he originally thought stomach, sure he knew she had put on a little weight, but it wasn't like he knew her gym work outs off by heart, plus he always had liked her a little softer. As sappy as it was, she was cuddlier when like that and he loved that about her, loved being able to squeeze her tight, well that will have to stop straight away, have to be able to hold her as they made love.

The knot in his stomach that had formed when he thought she was actually sick, hadn't actually lessened any, it had just turned into something else. She was pregnant, with his child, his child! He'd knocked her up, damn it, every rumour that went around was finally coming true, part of him wanted to stick his head in the sand. To take a minute, take a breather, to stop the world from spinning out from under his feet.

But there is no breather for Claire, she's with this twenty four seven. A treacherous voice in his head all but screamed, he paced back and forth before once again at the end of her bed, “You said you couldn't, that basterd made it so you couldn't,” he was sure he sounded kind of hysterical at that point, and he had ended up gesturing between himself and Claire. Muttering nonsense about how he'd done that to her, before he stopped, before the world actually stopped tilting on it's axis and it seemed to sink in.

A hand went to his face, covering his mouth, as he finally looked at Claire, saw that his words had probably hurt her in that moment. She was carrying his child, he had never wanted kids, had always said that he didn't want kids, then he'd met Claire everything had changed and sure when she'd told him she couldn't have children at the beginning a small part of him found it a relief.

Then he'd met her family, her nieces, her nephews and sure he'd always been brilliant with children, even now on Atlantis he'd offer to babysit some of the Athosian kids at the last minute and he'd see the sorrow in her eyes that she couldn't have her own. By that point he wanted nothing more than to be able to give her a child, to make that sorrow leave her face and by some share force of nature it had happened.

That was his child she was carrying and he'd done nothing but told her she can't since he'd worked it out. He was an arse to her in them two minutes, he was going to have to make that up to her, he knew. But he realised one thing stood there, looking at her, not uttering a word, was that he wanted this child, his child, he wanted it more than anything else in the world with Claire and he couldn't unseen in his minds eye Claire sat there with a small bundle in her arms.

It did the trick, that one image in his head, undid the frozen state he seemed to have gotten stuck in as he made his way quickly back to her side, sat down, hands on either side of her face as he kissed the life out of her. Before resting his forehead against hers much like how the Athosians greeted one another.

“Am sorry,” he whispered, “You are amazing, so fucking amazing, Claire, Sweetheart, E hoa wahine. So fucking amazing.” He was just peppering her with kisses between each word and if there was tears falling down his face then....well he just didn't care by that point.


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