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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2017 7:38 pm 
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Claire watched the expression on Caleb's face change as he added up all the pieces, finally coming to a very neat conclusion. She didn't know what she had expected, but letting go of her hand as though she was electrified certainly hadn't factored into the scenarios she had run through in her head. He stood up, stepping back, and Claire watched him pace, looking as though he was ready to run.

Maybe she shouldn't have told him. Maybe she should have waited, or maybe she should even have... No. She knocked that thought out of her head. No matter what, there was no way she could ever get rid of this baby, even if Caleb didn't want it. She desperately wanted this child, and, if it destroyed her relationship with Caleb... well, that didn't bear thinking about. She didn't know what she would do if she lost him over this.

She hadn't expected him to question whether he was the father, though, and Claire felt as though she'd been punched in the gut. Bright spots of colour flamed on her cheeks, and her eyes flashed emerald. "Of course it's fucking yours," she spat, deeply, desperately hurt that he even questioned that. "And I thought I couldn't get pregnant either, so that's two of us struggling with this."

Claire couldn't believe it. Of all the reactions she had expected, this level of denial wasn't it. She almost felt as though Caleb was blaming her for this, as though he thought that she had been hiding something from him, which couldn't be further from the truth. She had always been honest with him, telling him about her fertility issues from the start, and, while they had never discussed the possibility of her getting pregnant, she hadn't thought that Caleb might be this opposed to the idea.

Her breath caught in her throat, the smile long gone, and tears now starting to track down her cheeks. She didn't know how to deal with this, and was about to ask Caleb what he wanted to do, when he literally stopped in his tracks. He looked at her, seeming to see her for the first time since he had realised what she was telling him, and dropped back onto the bed beside her.

Claire's tears were freely flowing now, even as Caleb's hands grasped the sides of her face, and she was taken by surprise as he kissed her. Hiccuping on her tears, she hesitated for just a moment before returning the kiss, her own hands reaching up to tangle in his hair.

She was gasping for breath as the kiss finished, tears still streaming down her cheeks as Caleb apologised, telling her how amazing she was. She hiccuped again, and reached up a hand to brush her tears away. "So... what... what does this mean, Caleb? Do... do you... want this baby?"


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:12 am 
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He hadn't meant for the 'mine' comment to slip out, damn it he hadn't expected any of the accusatory things he'd said to slip out. Of course he knew how badly Tama had damaged Claire, physically, emotionally, in every damn way – it was why he'd nearly punched the blokes lights out when he'd come across them in New Zealand – possible and there he went doing near enough the exact same thing.

His heart was in his throat as he sat in front of her, tears making their own way down his face. He wasn't sure if Claire had ever seen him crying before, not this kind of big fat tears that were currently carving there way down his face. But he didn't care, he had momentarily hurt Claire and he couldn't abide that, not in himself, not when he'd made promises not to hurt her in such ways, ever.

Not only that but he had hurt his child by hurting Claire, everything she felt the child would feel surely? He had to take of her, take care of them both, he had to protect them every bone in his body was screaming at him to do just that.

Then she asked him the ultimate question, did he want the baby? That terrified him to no end, he grew up with both his parents around all the time and he still didn't have no clue how to be a parent. What made a great parent? He'd spent his years jumping from one woman to next, he was sure that didn't make a great parent.

“Claire,” he whispered, closing his eyes unsure of what to say.

This changed everything between them, but he was damned if he didn't want it so badly, he was terrified, had no idea what he was doing or how they were even going to raise a child. He wasn't exactly around every day like his own parents had been, what if he got stuck off world for months at an end? Or worse injured off world? How would they explain that to a child.

Caleb wanted to take so much time to digest the news, to make sure he was one hundred percent ready, but he had a feeling that even if he got that chance he wouldn't feel any more prepared. He was going to be a dad!

!I guess it means we start thinking of names,” he finally said, huffing out a laugh as he pulled back from her, “Am here, always.”


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:34 am 
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Caleb's tears broke Claire a little bit more. Sure, she had seen him cry a little before, but never like this, and she didn't know why he was crying every bit as hard as she was. She hiccuped again, and was sure that her face was red, blotchy, and puffy by now. She was most definitely an ugly crier. Still, she needed to know what was going on in Caleb's head, otherwise they would never be able to work out how to move forward.

His denial of her pregnancy had stung - really stung - and she didn't know quite why he had said that. It had looked like a knee jerk reaction, which she could understand, but it had still hurt. She loved Caleb to distraction, and was finding it hard to process the fact that he had hurt her so deeply.

And now, everything was hinging on this one question: did he want their child?

She didn't even notice that she was holding her breath, and watched as Caleb closed his eyes, breathing her name. Claire felt her heart stretch to breaking point as she waited for Caleb to tell her that he wasn't ready, that he didn't want their child. She had tossed him a bombshell, and now she had to deal with the fallout. Maybe she should have just come straight out with it. Maybe his reaction would have been better.

Claire stopped herself from thinking in "what ifs". She would only torture herself further as she waited what seemed like a lifetime for Caleb's answer. Her forehead cooled as Caleb pulled back from her, almost as he though he were withdrawing the breath of life - the hongi - from her. She steeled herself for the worst possible outcome.

Given his initial reaction to her pregnancy news, Claire certainly wasn't expecting the short laugh, nor the suggestion to start choosing names, nor his profession that he was there. Always. "Fucking hell, you know how to scare the shit out of me, Caleb," she choked, and the tears came again as she threw her arms around him and held on tight. "You know I love you, don't you? And I would never keep anything from you. Ever."


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 11:47 am 
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Caleb let himself be pulled into the hug, squeezing her just as tight, god he was terrified of what this meant. Part of him had always made a point of not thinking about having kids, when she'd first told him she couldn't have children he had nodded said it was fine, they could have kids a different way, it was his standard line to go to every time it was mentioned between the two. Because he didn't want to think about it, even as the two of them grew closer, even as he met all her young nieces and nephews, he didn't want to think about having his own children because...because knowing Claire couldn't have them actually hurt him a lot.

He just hadn't realised it until that moment, that was why he had, had that knee jerk reaction – yes he was going to kicking himself over that for next however many months – she had told him repeatedly she couldn't have children, then to tell him she was pregnant. It hurt, it wasn't like she had lied to him, he knew the stakes, knew what had been done to her, so he didn't think about it, didn't let himself day dream about her holding a small bundle in her arms. Didn't think about teaching his daughter or son about...well about everything he knew.

So to have that unlocked in his mind, to have them thoughts come rushing through like a speeding truck, yeah it took him by surprise, the last time that had happened was when he'd followed through with that kiss in the gym. The last time his world got spun on its head, when the world just started to disappear beneath his feet.

He was going to have to acclimatise to this situation quickly, he kissed the side of her neck in apology, “I didn't mean to scare you,” he said quietly, hugging her tighter, “Love you to, love you so much. Thought you were genuinely sick, when Beckett said you'd passed out, Claire you have no idea what went through my head.”

Caleb couldn't put what had gone through his head when he'd heard them words, it was like his world stopped, Claire sick, the two words didn't really compute in his head. Then he'd seen her laying there, IV in her arm and his worry had escalated and then....well then she'd said she was carrying his child.

He hadn't quite realised that one of his hands had actually found there way to her stomach, resting gently but firmly there, not until he pulled back again for a moment, “How did this happen? I mean you said we couldn't, that this wouldn't be possible?” he asked not a hint of accusation in his voice, as he lowered his head to glance at his hand.

Swallowing thickly he looked back up at her as he said, “If I'd know, I'd have....I dunno, covered up more.”


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 2:03 pm 
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Claire clung onto Caleb as he returned the hug, every possible emotion swirling through her: elation at being pregnant, relief that Caleb, eventually, seemed to be on board with it, but worry that he might just be saying what she wanted to hear to keep her happy. She knew that he would do anything to make sure that she was happy, and she could only hope that wasn't the case now. She would never be able to forgive herself if the only reason he accepted her pregnancy would be to make her happy, making himself miserable in the process.

Fresh tears threatened as Caleb kissed her neck, his face buried in the crook of her shoulder. He hugged her tighter, and tears threatened to break from Claire's eyes once more as he told her he loved her. She really didn't hear it from him very often, but she knew he meant every syllable of it.

She swallowed deeply as he explained how worried he had been, and Claire dropped a kiss against his ear, which was about all she could reach, with his head buried in her neck. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you," she said, her voice breaking. "I had no clue about the baby, I promise. And I'm sorry you thought it was something bad. I..."

Her voice cracked wide open again, and she hiccuped once more. This was proving to be far more difficult than she had anticipated, and it was clear that there was a lot more talking needing to be done. This had opened things up that neither had expected to ever need to discuss, opened up feelings that neither had expected to have to confront, and it was proving far harder than Claire could have ever anticipated.

The fact that Caleb's hand had slipped to her stomach, and was resting there, Claire was taking as a good sign, a sign that - even if it was subconsciously - Caleb might want to protect and nurture his child. However, that was knocked out of her head by his next question. Dumbfounded, Claire stared mutely at Caleb, waves of guilt washing over her.

While his tone wasn't accusatory, his words were a slap, a stinging slap. She wondered whether he even realised the nature of what he had just said. "This shouldn't have been possible," Claire replied, her voice quiet and flat, her eyes bleak. "I lost 70% of my expected fertility levels for a woman my age, and, with the scarring, my fertility will have decreased year on year."

She held Caleb's gaze. "Somehow, we managed to make a perfect biological storm, and... well, here we are." Claire's voice cracked again, and she dashed away another stray tear. "You know what, I'm not sorry you didn't 'cover up', Caleb. I know you didn't necessarily want children, but it's a little late now. This baby is a fact, and... and I don't want to do this without you."


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 2:45 pm 
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He realised as he sat there, all but clinging to the woman in front of him, that she hadn't meant to worry him so much, he was sure his heart was still going a mile a minute, he hadn't exactly sat through his post-mission c heck very well, nor had he showered particularly well either. He was sure that there was still dust on his person somewhere. He had been distracted by the thought of his wife being ill, he was sure he had just answered 'yes' to every question through his check with Beckett and he was glad it had been Beckett to do the check, because he wasn't sure he'd have stood anyone else trying at that moment in time.

At least he knew why the damn scot was smiling throughout the whole thing now, was because he'd known, of course he would have known. If there was one person he knew Claire turned to other than him, it was Beckett, Atlantis made everyone family at one point or another. An it seemed he had actually accomplished that 'family making' ability properly this time.

“Just promise me you're alright? You and....and bump are okay?” he asked quietly, it was probably the first time he'd acknowledged that out loud, and he felt his stomach tighten in response.

He was going to be father, there wasn't any changing that, he just hugged her more, his own tears had dried up a few moments ago, but he didn't want to let her go. If he let her go he'd have to face this here and now, even if his hand was now just constantly resting on her stomach, he realised that there was a small difference in how it felt beneath his hand now. There was most definitely a bump there, now it was pointed out to him, he briefly wondered what that would feel like beneath his hand as she got bigger, would she even want him to continue to touch her?

Pulling away from her as she explained what he asked, he realised he had probably put his foot in his mouth again, as she seemed to give him a shuttered look, a look that spoke volumes. But he needed to know, he remembered the conversation they'd had all them years ago when they were planning there first getaway, remembered her saying the same thing then. But it didn't compute with what she was telling him now, he didn't want to hurt her any more, didn't want to see that cool look in her eyes.

Then she seemed to land a blow to him, as she said 'he didn't necessarily want kids' and he took in a breath. He had hoped he'd never given her that impression, sure when they had first gotten together he hadn't wanted them, he wasn't ready, hell he was scared out of his mind of getting hurt again when they'd first hooked up. But as the the weeks had passed into months, he'd opened himself up near enough completely to her, even when she'd taken him back to New Zealand, he'd told her he wanted to run. To hide, he didn't do them things.

But he couldn't recall ever once saying he didn't want children, as he sat there on the bed, looking at her, looking at the hurt he'd caused her, even as his hand was running soothing circles across her stomach.

He shook his head, “I can't...” before looking up to the ceiling, taking a breath, time to be a damn man about this, because even as the words came to the surface of what he wanted to say, as he recognised them for what they were, he felt sick if he was to give this up.

Looking back at her, wiping the tears from her face with his free hand, he smiled at her, “This is my child, Claire, mine, ours. You won't be doing this on your own, ever, never. I want this, so much, I am terrified though, sweetheart, am not exactly role model of the year am I?”

The smile never faltered as he pulled her close once more, whispering into her ear, “E hoa wahine, shush, am not going anywhere. Shush.” he soothed.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 02, 2017 4:24 pm 
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"I promise you, I'm fine," replied Claire, running her fingers through Caleb's hair. It seemed that he was still needlessly worried about her, and she wasn't sure what she could do to assuage that worry. The second part of the question, though, required an answer she realised she couldn't give. "I... I don't know about Bump," she admitted with a quiet laugh. "I was so stunned when Carson told me I was pregnant - which was just before you got home - that I didn't ask him how the baby was." She felt ridiculous now, for not having checked on their child's welfare. That was something they would need to ask Carson about as soon as possible.

"Carson says he thinks I'm about 16 weeks along," she explained. "That's far enough for a scan." She almost laughed. She was thinking in earth terms. With the Ancient technology, who knew what they could determine? "Would you want to know? I mean, if it's a girl or a boy?" Claire had always been of the opinion that she would prefer the surprise when any child of hers was born, but if Caleb wanted to know, she would go along with that.

Claire swallowed back a ball of emotion as she finished explaining how low her fertility levels were, and regretted some of her own words when she noticed the hurt in Caleb's eyes. The last thing she wanted was to hurt him: he would be struggling enough with the notion that he was going to be a father, and the last thing he needed was Claire upsetting him as well. It didn't matter how much his words had hurt her, retaliating wasn't going to help anyone or anything.

She cocked her head, waiting for Caleb to finish, as he said "I can't". He didn't continue, and Claire rested her hand on top of his where it lay on her belly, a belly which was far more rounded than she had realised. How the hell could she have thought that she was just gaining weight?? Stroking her fingers over the back of Caleb's hand, she wondered whether he would still find her desirable as her body changed.

Never moving his hand from her stomach, Caleb smiled, brushing the tears from her face with his free hand. His words broke her again, but in the best possible way this time. Claire laughed, a smile of pure love and relief etching itself onto her lips, and the tears spilled over again. "You have nothing to worry about," she whispered, her tone fierce. "You are going to be an incredible dad, the best there is, and I'll be right there with you all the way. I'm shitting myself, too, so we'll muddle through this together."

Claire buried her head in the crook of Caleb's neck as he pulled her close again, murmuring words of comfort in her ear. "Kei te aroha au i a koe," she breathed, letting her lips dust his neck. "Now we've worked out that this little one is here to stay, I guess we'd better find out if it's okay, right?"


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 12:15 pm 
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Caleb couldn't help the small chuckle as she she had been stunned, that was going to be the understatement of the century between them; they were stunned.

He eyed the IV that was attached to her arm, “You're so fine, Beckett hooked you up to fluids?” he wasn't being mean, but that wasn't exactly his definition of being fine. She wasn't fooling him any more.

The smile seemed to become if possible even brighter as Claire used the name 'Bump' for their child, he had a feeling that, that was going to stick with them for the next couple of months. He listened attentively as Claire told him how far along she was and he didn't like the tug of guilt in his stomach as he realised he hadn't noticed any change with her. Hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary, from their usual chaotic life style.

For someone who was very attentive, especially to Claire, he felt like he should have known, somehow, should have spotted something different about the woman he loved. But he hadn't, they'd both been so busy, between leaving Atlantis, visiting parents, going to the Beta site, coming back to Atlantis, he hadn't had chance to sit down for more than five minutes and have a proper conversation with her. He made a silent vow to himself in that moment that he was going to pay more attention to Claire, not that he didn't already pay enough to her.

“No,” Caleb answered quickly, “I don't want to know,” he was smiling, “Because what's one more surprise for us right?” he joked, hand still drawing lazy circles on her stomach. “Unless of course you do?” He wondered briefly what it would be like when he could feel the child inside Claire actually moving, because at the moment he couldn't feel a thing other than a small swell.

It was true he didn't want to know the sex, he wanted what ever Claire gave him, but he wanted to remain in the dark about the gender. Besides if he found out then it'd take all of the fun out of it.

The hand on top of his as it rested against her stomach was calming to him in a way he hadn't realised he'd needed, not until he seemed to take the first non panicked breath in since the whole situation had started. Claire was everything he'd wanted and more, and now was his turn to be that everything for her.

He puffed out a breath, “This child is going to be so crazy, with Doctor and Navy genes,” he said, smiling at her, feeling like he could begin to tease once again. His head might still be spinning with every possibility going, his stomach might still be twisting its self up in knots, but he was beginning to feel more like himself.

He could just about picture a baby girl with Claire's features, his eyes and mixture of there personalities. Or maybe they'd end up with a baby boy, that looked like him and had Claire's fiery temper, either way it was going to be a fun ride to see what they actually ended up like, because at the end of the day he knew that whatever they had it was going to be there own person eventually. Of course thinking about what they looked didn't exactly elevate the fear, maybe enhanced it a little.

As he sat there hugging Claire, soothing her – he'd done nothing but whisper the word 'wahine' to her – he realised he felt himself calming as well. They were going to be able to do this, they were two very stubborn, determined people they could do this. That was when he heard her words, followed by the kiss on his neck, he'd heard her say them words to him time and time again. He didn't need to ask what they meant he already knew, would always know.

“We should definitely make sure Bump is okay and that...that mum is okay as well,” he said pulling away from her, fearing for a moment that he might have stepped over the line too soon with calling her mum.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 03, 2017 4:37 pm 
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Claire shot Caleb a look. "It's a precaution," she soothed. "Protocol. Anyone passes out, you get them on a saline IV, in case they're dehydrated. I'm not, I can assure you that. I know Carson will already have sorted out the anaemia with an iron shot, and I might need another one in a couple of weeks. It's not unusual for slight anaemia in the first trimester of pregnancy, you know." Even though every word of what she was telling him was the truth, she doubted he'd believe it unless he heard it from Carson.

For someone who had seemed to scared, and so opposed to the idea of becoming a father a few minutes ago, Claire noticed the first sparks of excitement in the way Caleb was talking. He was the first to address their baby in any way other than "it", or "the baby", and now he seemed to be getting excited about leaving the baby's gender a surprise.

Claire couldn't help but returning the smile, daring, for the first time, to allow herself to feel some excitement at the prospect of becoming a mother. "No," she laughed, the sound almost a giddy giggle. "I'd rather we kept it a surprise too." She didn't understand people who needed to know every little bit about their child before it was even born. Why take some of the mystery out of it?

At last, as her hand rested on top of Caleb's at it lay on her burgeoning bump, Claire could feel some sense so peace, normality, returning to them. Of course, bringing a child into the world would change everything, but, for the first time, she knew they were completely on the same page, and would be able to move forward as a couple. As a family.

She laughed as Caleb asserted their child would be crazy. "With a submariner for its dad," she remarked. "Bloody right, it will!" Submariners were a special breed, that was for certain, and Caleb was no exception. "But it's that fiery Māori side you'll have to watch out for, you know? It'll be doing the haka before it's out of nappies!"

Claire traced her gaze over Caleb's face as he appeared to lose himself in thought for a moment. She wondered what he was thinking about. What had made him suddenly accept that they were going to become parents? She'd ask him at some point, but now was not the time. Now was the time to let the news sink in, and the pair of them needed some alone time to work things out before they went public with the news.

Claire cocked her head as Caleb agreed now was a good time to make sure their baby was okay, and fresh tears sprung to her eyes as he called her "mum". "I can't believe it, you know," she said, her voice soft, the hints of excitement dancing around the edges. "I can't believe I'm actually going to be a mum. After Carson tells you we're both okay, I think we need to go home and make sure daddy's okay, don't you?"


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 04, 2017 9:47 am 
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Caleb listened as Claire told him about the drip that she was currently attached to. There was part of him that was happy that Claire was a doctor and could explain these things to him, he was sure that he would be more worried if she wasn't. He liked things being explained to him as simple as possible, especially when it concerned things he didn't know anything about.

It did calm him down slightly, eased a bit more of that worry that was crowding the back of his mind. He had a feeling he was going to have to worry less about the small things with her now, she was going to let him know how she was feeling he was sure of it. Actually he'd heard horror stories of women being very hormonal the further along they got, he wasn't sure if he was really looking forward to the pain Claire could inflict on him during them times.

The longer he sat there with her, holding his hand against her stomach, the more he let himself feeling something other than abject terror. He had never let himself think of having children with Claire, not one of their own, ever since she'd told him it was going to be near on impossible, of course he probably should have realised that impossible was a word they shouldn't use with the work they were currently in. If anyone had told him several years ago it would be possible to travel to different worlds he would have said it was impossible.

But sitting there smiling at Claire, starting to joke about something as life changing as a baby, it made him feel a bit more like himself again, made him realise that in that moment his love for Claire had grown exponentially and now there was someone else he was beginning to love unconditionally as well. It was a rather heady experience.

“Good, am glad,” he replied in response to the gender question.

He fell silent again for a moment or two, it felt like the outside world was forgotten to him, to them, there was nothing more important in the world in that moment than being there in that small closed off section of the infirmary with Claire and Bump. This was going to impact them both so much, even as Claire joined in with his joke about the doctor/navy genes that there child was going to have.

He wondered briefly if Claire would want him to stay on base more once the child was born, would she ask him not to go off world any more? Before he pushed the thought away, that was a conversation for another time, not that day.

“You'll have to teach us both then,” he said, laughing along with her.

Maybe it was something they could do as a family, a proper family unit, the three of them, he could just about imagine Claire trying to teach both him and Bump and failing miserably because Caleb kept distracting not only Claire but there child. Of course the mention of them learning a haka, made him realise they needed to tell their parents, damn what were they gonna say? What was her dad going to say? He didn't fancy getting maimed and was sort of thankful that he was in a different galaxy for that moment.

He laughed as she said she couldn't believe she was pregnant, “You best start believing it sweetheart,” he said, placing another kiss on her cheek, “Am just that damn good,” he added cheekily. The first flirt since this whole situation had started, a sure sign he was beginning to feel like himself once more.

Then she went and called him 'daddy' and he felt like he had got something stuck in his throat, his chest feeling like there was a rope around his heart. He was so use to being 'Uncle' when he was around Claire's family, that daddy shouldn't have effected him. But if there was a small tear slowly making its way down his cheek, he wasn't going to mention it. He was far to happy to mention it.

“That sounds like a good idea,” he said, before raising his voice a little, “It's safe to come in now doc,” because he didn't for one minute not think that Beckett wasn't lurking somewhere on the other side of the damn curtain.

Especially considering that Caleb's own initial reaction hadn't been good, the doctor was like family to Claire and he knew he would have been listening in.


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