Caleb looked at her as though he hadn't expected her quiet question, and Claire sighed, swallowing back on anything else. What had he expected? Her to shout and scream? Or to beg him not to go? Of course she didn't want him to go, but if it was something that he wanted to do, who was she to stop him? The feelings she had for him were intense and all-encompassing, and she couldn't imagine her life without him now. But, if he wanted to go to Atlantis... she couldn't ask him to stay. That wouldn't be fair on him.
Claire turned off the burner, certain that dinner was the last thing on either of their minds now. Caleb stood there like a statue, his arms crossed over his chest, his expression stoic, and Claire wanted to kiss the tension away. She didn't know whether it would be welcome, though.
They stood on either side of her small kitchen, almost as though battle lines had been drawn between them, even though not a cross word had been said. Claire listened, swallowing back emotions she couldn't put a name to, as Caleb admitted he wanted to go.
He sounded like a little kid, excited about going on holiday, and Claire couldn't help but smile. She loved hearing Caleb talk passionately about things, even though this was something that was threatening to tear them apart.
"I understand," she murmured, her gaze holding a depth of sadness that Caleb probably hadn't seen before. They had barely been together a month, and, in that month, was happier than she had ever been. Claire should have known it wouldn't last. "Believe it or not, I'm happy for you." Her voice was choked with emotion. "I'm so proud of you, Caleb."
And then he dropped another bombshell.
Claire's jaw dropped as he asked her to go to Atlantis with him. There she was, having spent weeks trying to avoid making the decision, hoping to have it taken out of her hands by time and circumstance, and the man she had...
Admit it, you stupid bitch, you're in love with him.
...the man she had fallen in love with was asking her to go to a whole other galaxy to be with him. She couldn't quite meet his eyes. "I... I don't know," she admitted, finally giving in and going to stand next to him, letting herself lean against his solid warmth as if seeking comfort. "Carson asked me weeks ago, before we got together. He offered me the position as his deputy." She looked up, her eyes bleak. "I've not given him my answer yet. I... couldn't find good enough reasons to go." Claire gave Caleb a searingly honest look.
"Now... well, it looks as though I have some thinking to do, doesn't it?"
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